I grew up with my brother and two sisters in the back of a London pub. The incessant violence against both my parents from customers in what was, in effect, our front dining room, and the almost nightly violence and malice of the raging drunks who patronized our place had a deep effect on me. I saw first hand the tragic and disastrous impact of addiction. If you’re not familiar with Hackney, during my childhood it was definitely not a wholesome and enriching environment to raise children. Financial trouble, family conflict and danger were the trademarks of my home and family life as a child.
I witnessed life-and-death situations, yet I knew I wasn’t destined to live life with people who found it acceptable to be violent for no apparent reason or justification. In fact it was the opposite and being in an environment so different from my own true nature was taking a toll on me. I was becoming more and more isolated, more fearful that I would never experience greatness in my lifetime, and had even adopted a lifestyle of partying and recklessness in order to numb the pain. My physical environment was full of danger and not much enrichment, love or nurturing. So that created a norm for my thought processes, beliefs and behaviour.
I recognized I didn’t like that and, having come to a crossroads, decided that I was never again going to live in hell. The first image that came to mind of heaven was of palm trees, the beach and to be in the warmth of the sun everyday. So the first thing I did was to become location independent in my work. I then organized my life to ensure I had constant sun, sea and sand, moving to a Mediterranean paradise in the Balearic Islands.
Finding My Coach
Once I had found my idea of heaven, I realised I needed to find a mentor and coach. I then met Dana Minney, a professional coach and established trainer who introduced me to the Sage Method of coaching which is based in curiosity. And I’m not talking about intellectual curiosity here but instinctive curiosity. How do you know when you are curious? You ‘light up’! Your ‘lights’ show up in a certain flash of aliveness in your eyes, your smile, a change in your movement pattern. Sage coaches are well trained in helping people find their ‘lights’, the threads of their own curiosity, aliveness, vitality and passion. I have been trained to do this as well.
Dana introduced me to more than 100 coaching tools for communication and perception learnt from the man I later trained with as well, Martin Sage of Sage University. They are tools created to help people be better parents, partners, coaches and business people. I learnt a profound way of communicating and leading in every area of my life. It came out of Dana and Martin’s clear ability to communicate with me in a way that makes me feel honoured and lets me know exactly where I stand. They give me clear feedback, even when it’s not positive, which lets me know precisely what works and what doesn’t work, and manage to do it in a way that ‘lights me up’, and makes me want to do better. The truth is, the way they deal with me, creating games where I can win and feel successful, giving me kind feedback even when I make mistakes, has earned my complete trust and loyalty as well enabled me to achieve incredible results in my life.
The reason my mentors and I have such a great connection is because I have learned to follow their lights…and create action steps, projects, and find my life purpose by exploring my lights. This is one of the many tools I would one day like to share with you. I share this message because what I have learned from my work with Sage University and their trainers is that my life mission is to take this work and bring it to you. Whether it’s through one-to-one coaching, facilitating workshops, with a group of friends in a living room or crowds in an auditorium, I am most happy when I am sharing my story and when helping people individually or in groups to overcome their environment or current situation, to create the life they want.
Each time I take an action step or class or work with a client, I improve my skills. Training with Sage coaches will help you immediately see how valuable you are, and get you focused on your future and purpose. My fellow coaches and I have formed partnerships, based on mutual respect, which brings us all a great deal of joy and the ability to achieve many times more than either one of us could achieve on our own. I am living my dream. It could be that you are at a turning point in your life and you could benefit from my experience and ability to help guide you to find your piece of heaven, just as I have, moving you towards and creating a life you love. I would love the opportunity to assist in fulfilling yours.
For me, I now have an exciting career that brings adventure and world travel, a life plan that turns me on, and personal relationships that inspire, excite and fulfil my needs. Coaching can expand your ability to operate, to navigate, to see different choices, to try different things. If you have read something here that made you curious, perhaps you are interested in creating change in your life, learning communication tools, relationship tools, family systems coaching or finding the pieces of your puzzle that “light you up”… Please share your thoughts with me and ask how I can assist or support you. Thank you so much for sharing my story and most of all, for your curiosity…